Real Estate Madness, Episode 4

I have a weakness for handicapped animals. When I go to PetFinder.com and look at the dogs and cats available, I intentionally look for pets featuring a little green heart next to their listing. That green heart means that this is a special needs pet. A handicapped dog. An imperfect cat. A cuddly friend who is often overlooked by others, but who will love you dearly if you just give them that little extra time and attention they need. I think my ideal dog is probably 8 years old, greying around the muzzle, and missing a leg.

And it seems that my taste in houses is similar to my taste in dogs.

So, we've been touring houses. With the help of our realtor, we have toured 6 homes since giving up on The Bad Boyfriend. Most were promising in their own right, but two have stuck out in my mind more than the others.
1. The Three-Legged Dog
2. The Mauve Monster
Today I'd like to tell you about The Three-Legged Dog.



When we first saw this house, we really like it. The lot is gorgeous. There's no garage, but the parking situation is great. The rooms were spacious without being too big. And the sunroom/breakfast area that looks out on the back yard is simply to die for (It looks better in person than in the photos). Yes, it's a bit old and feels slightly dated, but a few cosmetic changes would fix all of that. As we walked around, we felt certain that we had found The One.




(Tim is sneezing. :) )


Good bones. Very promising.

But the bathrooms. The bathrooms!!!!! The Bad Boyfriend had bad baths, but these were a step beyond. Tim actually refers to the master bath in this house as the Slit-Your-Wrists Bathroom because it is so bleak and depressing. The sink in the master bath actually had a big black crack/hole in it. It kinda looks as though it has been worn through, if that makes sense. Note that this is a cultured marble sink. I cannot imagine how the owner accomplished this damage, but there it was. Worst of all, though, were the bathtubs. Plastic. Flimsy, greenish-grey, cheapy plastic bathtubs. And the walls around the tubs were made of the same awful greenish-grey plastic, but they did not seem to be sealed properly. I could easily imagine the water damage that lurked beneath. And did I mention that they were small & that both bathrooms were crammed up against one another in the corner of the 2nd floor? A slight renovation might be possible for those bathrooms, but they could never be expanded. I think I might be able to live with the size. Tim, however, could not.

I've spent a good deal of time thinking about this house. I keep thinking of that upstairs layout & trying to find a way to make it work Maybe if we take out the master closet and ... no. Perhaps if we shift the washer and drier into the next bedroom and ... no. I don't see how we could make it work. Even if I could, it is bound to cost tens of thousands of dollars - dollars we don't have.

Oh well. Tonight we will be looking at The Mauve Monster again. Details to come ...