This morning - for the first time EVER - I found a 4 leaf clover. Then I found another. And another. Then I decided to stop looking because that seemed greedy.
But the point is that this has NEVER happened to me before! When I was a kid, I spent sooooooo much time looking for 4 leaf clovers with friends. And every time one of them exclaimed, "Found one!" my heart sunk a little. It never happened. And eventually I convinced myself that it would never happen. No 4 leaf clovers for me. I decided I just wasn't lucky enough.
Fast forward to last week. A few times while George and Holly were here, they mentioned how lucky I am. And I have mixed feelings about that. It's true that I have a sweet, loving husband. It's true that I don't have to work anymore. It's true that we're about to move into the cutest freakin' house ever.
But this Stepford-Wife existence isn't quite as blissful as people might assume. Frankly, it's rather lonely. And there are other not-so-pleasant issues in my life, but I'd rather not discuss them. In fact, I'd rather not discuss a lot of the negative things because when I talk about them too much, I focus on them too much. And that depresses the hell out of me and keeps me from appreciating the good things around me. I don't want to seem ungrateful. I truly appreciate the things Tim and I have accomplished, the place where we are. I feel we are quite blessed. And I find that as I get older, I also appreciate the little things more than ever. I appreciate the roof over our heads, the food in our pantry, the cool breeze that is blowing through the garden, the bunny rabbit that didn't scamper away as I watched it munch on the grass.
Could it be possible that I'm turning into ... [gasp!] an optimist?! Could that really truly happen? Or is it just easier to be an optimist when things seem to be going right? Will this optimism fade this week as I wade through the nightmare called Picking A Mortgage Lender? We shall see.
But my point is that, yes, I am lucky. And you know what? So are you. You don't even need a bit of clover to tell you so. Just look around.
1 comment:
When I was a kid we had a neighbor who was always finding 4-leaf clovers, without even looking. She'd be walking across the yard, bend down and come up with a little piece of luck, all without breaking stride. I thought she was magic. :)
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