I suck ... in a bad way

Saturday we were supposed to go to a dinner party thingy hosted by one of Tim's co-workers. The whole company was invited. But we didn't go. I won't go into the details. I'll just say that it wasn't Tim's choice. It just boils down to the fact that I'm crap & I suck. In a bad way. The way that doesn't make you popular with boys.

This is not to say that I don't also suck in a good way, but I'm not going there.

Moving is crap. You all know this. I don't have to explain. That's why I luvz ya. It also sucks when the first day of your period coincides with important events in your life. Like meeting your husband's co-workers and their wives. Especially when it looks like a massacre took place in your pants.

Of course, this is about much more than bleeding and bloating. It's about the things we have to do to convince people that we're worth knowing ... that we're worth their time. It's about the posturing. The insincere smiles. The things you don't say so that you don't risk offending someone right away. The way you have to be on guard when you encounter new people.

I think the idea of going out & trying to meet people & make friends isn't really the right way to do this. You know how people tell you that you shouldn't go in search of a mate & that you should just let things magically happen to you? I'm thinking it's got to be the same thing with friends. Because whenever we have to go out to meet people, it makes me feel like I'm preparing for a job interview. And that sucks. It's worse when I'm meeting Tim's work colleagues because then I feel like I'm on a job interview for him, too.

So I need to just focus on doing whatever the hell I want. And if I meet people along the way, that's fine. But I shouldn't make it a priority.

In the mean time, I'd really like a new vacuum cleaner.