Panties: an explanation

Tucked in the box of birthday goodies Mom sent to me last week, was an innocuous bundle wrapped in maroon wrapping paper. Imagine my surprise when I tore into the package and found a pile of lingerie. It was all panties - red silk, black lace, white chiffon. Some of the knickers were small enough to fit our cat. A very odd gift to receive from one's mother. Luckily, there was a note that tried to explain the situation, but I didn't understand it fully until I talked to my brother, Ray.

My mom and her best friend used to own a business together. They made custom-made clothing and costumes for brides, dancers, figure skaters, and performers of all sorts. One day they were hired by a group that was putting on a tribute to Hank Williams Jr. The band decided to play a little twist on the old stereotype of fans tossing underwear on stage; Instead, the musicians wanted to throw underwear at the fans. So Mom and Helen bought a ton of random panties in a wide variety of sizes. I guess they had some extras, because Mom found them in the back of a closet recently.
What to do, what to do?
As George and I know already, you can't donate unpackaged underwear to charity shops; they just throw them away (that's a story for another day). So naturally, since she had no other options, Mother decided she'd send the panties to me.
Naturally.

Mom insists that the profusion of panties is not actually meant to be a birthday gift. It was merely a coincidence that she wrapped them up in patterned paper. And included it in a box of other birthday gifts. With a birthday card and birthday balloon and everything. But it wasn't a birthday present! Honest! What Mom didn't forsee is that the laugh I got from that package was the very best laugh of my entire birthday-week! Now that is a great gift! Thanks, Mom!

In return, I'd like to add a little laughter to my mom's life. So Mom, here's that video I was telling you about on the phone today. I'm sure it'll give you a chuckle.