Halleluyah + Kahlua = Hallekahluyah!

I am a happy person tonight, y'all. My darling husband went out & bought me some booze before coming home. This is fantastic because (a) I have gone a whole month without having any Kahlua in the house and (b) I meant to buy some after my trip to the grocery store today but, dammit all, I spent all my money on friggin' groceries.

Stupid friggin' groceries.

But hey! It's okay! Because last night after shopping for more Lego sets, I conveniently showed Tim where our local liquor store - or the ABC store - is located. "That building right there! With the sign that says 'ABC'! Go there!" We pulled in front of the store and a friendly neighborhood highway patrol officer informed us that the store was closed. But luckily for me, Tim remembered my desperation & stopped by the store on the way home. So I had to wait nearly 20 hoooooours before I got my hands on some Kahlua & milk. But it happened. It finally finally happened. And I am happy.

And by the way, I know that the comic above (from the London Times) is not very amusing. But I discovered that if you do a Google search on the word "Kahlua", most of the pics you get will be of pets. Dogs. Cats. Rabbits. There was even an alpaca, people. Here's the proof.


Anywho. Now I get to explain what the first three letters of the alphabet have to do with booze. From what I have been able to gather, in order for an establishment to sell "spirituous liquor" in this state, they must obtain an ABC license. "ABC" stands for Alcoholic Beverage Control or Alcoholic Beverage Commission or Certificate or Consumption or Carrot or Children or Cheesecake or some other C word. Go ahead. Pick a C word. It's fun.

I'm kinda amused by the ABC store thingy that we have here. It reminds me of the liquor stores in Utah ... all of which are closed by some ridiculously early hour like 4pm. And I think they're all run by the state of Utah, too. And just ordering a glass of something alcoholic in Utah is just such a major hassle. You can see why we chose not to live there. Apparently, the liquor stores here are not run by the state. But why is the signage so vague? In Oklahoma, they have nice, simple, yellow signs that say "LIQUOR". You know what it's all about. But here? I don't know how many times I drove past ABC stores before I knew what they were. I was only able to decifer the code becauase I noticed some small print on a restaurant menu a couple of weeks back. Why are they being so secretive about the booze? Why do you have to know the local lingo just to buy a bottle of gin in this state?


Then again, this is the state where the panhandlers are required to wear orange safety vests while they're on duty. I am so very serious about this. There are some guys who beg for money near the exit ramps on some of the highways. They set themselves up next to the stop lights with the usual paraphenalia - cardboard signs and all of that. But oddly enough, they're all wearing these orange safety vests. I actually watched one guy walking over to the intersection vest-less BUT! As soon as he got to his favorite corner, he pulled out an orange vest and put it on! Tim thinks he may have even spotted some of them wearing special badges around their necks. Maybe they have to wear their panhandling licenses or something.

Whatever it is, it's bizarre. I mean, why is this necessary? Why are they doing everything they can to make the beggars more visible, but they try to make the liquor stores less visible? Where's the logic in that, I ask you?

Hmmm. Well, I think it's time for me to build a big Lego viking fort with Tim. Sadly, the kit did not come with a commemorative Panhandler Keychain like the one pictured. But if we finally decide to build a Lego town, you better believe we'll be getting one.